I am worthy

Genuine. Wholehearted. Heartfelt. Believe. Health. Wealth. Courage. Awesome. Learn. Flow. Pray. Live in the moment. Open your heart. Wear what you love. Show your soul.  Stop being afraid of everything. Hug. Love Big. GIVE. Share.

Embrace your Imperfect Everything.

Love yourself More.

I am Worthy.

I am Worthy.

The last few years of my life I’ve chosen a word in January, one that helps guide me through my year. I’ve decided not to do that this year, and instead choose a mantra. Something I can say to myself every day, maybe two or three or ten times in a day if I need to.

About a month ago I started to think about words, and I wrote the words that came pouring out of my heart, out of my soul, the words above. I couldn’t choose One word, I felt attached to them all for different reasons. I am worthy of all them I thought. Yes. That’s it.

I am worthy.

I am overweight. I am disorganized. I suffer with depression. I am worthy.

I live paycheck to paycheck most of the time, I have debt. I have a tiny little house. I am worthy.

I didn’t go to college. I do not watch CNN. I often nod my head and smile during conversations involving stocks/politics/philosophy because that’s all I can do. I have no idea what the f#$% anyone is talking about. I am worthy.

My kids watch too much TV and  they love their Nintendo DS. Sometimes we spend whole days in our pajamas. Sometimes I freak out. I Am Worthy.

I love cookies  way more than kale. I love my bed. I really hate the gym. I am worthy.

Sometimes I fall asleep before I finish my prayers. I don’t go to church anymore. I’m confused about my faith. I am worthy.

There are lots of things I feel shameful about. LOTS. I could go on.

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection , Author Brene’ Brown says this :

” When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness- the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we thing we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness- that critically important piece that gives us access to love and belonging- lives inside our story. The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute. Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites. So many of us have knowingly created /unknowingly allowed / been handed down a long list of worthiness prerequisites.”

Here are Mine:

I will be worthy when I lose weight.

I will be worthy when I’m a highly  established, successful, portrait and wedding photographer.

I will be worthy when others think I’m an awesome parent, and me and my family are looked at as an awesome picture perfect family.

I will be worthy when I have a blog that everyone reads.

I will be worthy when I have more friends.

I will be worthy when I no longer have panic.

I will be worthy when my  muscles don’t shake doing yoga.

I will be worthy when the moms at school don’t look at me like I’m a weird mom.

I will be worthy when I sign my kids up for soccer and ballet and piano.

And so it goes.

What are your worthy prerequisites?

Brene’ continues:

Here’s what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness. Worthy now. Not if. Now when. We are worthy of love and belonging Right this minute. As is.

So I’m really enjoying Brene’s book, and I’m really liking my mantra for the year. It’s not an easy one, these three little words have already proved themselves difficult to get out. I’m hoping that each time I utter them, I fall a little more in love with me.  I want to be Enough just as I am.

To help me along my I am Worthy journey, I have come up with a few more mantras to help me along my way.

* You can press the restart button at any moment during the day, It’s your choice.

* Believe that good is always within your grasp. What you want is always possible for you too.

* Ask. It’s okay. Do not be afraid.

* When you feel like you’re gonna lose it, say a prayer.

* Be kind to your sweet and fragile heart.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤